If The Simpsons were a young man, that dude would be able to legally buy alcohol. The best Simpsons quotes have been sprinkled evenly – and liberally – throughout their rich, funny history. Let’s take a look at some of the greatest quotes from The Simpsons:
…Or, as Homer would say, “Please don’t eat me. - I have a wife and kids. - Eat them.”
Best Simpson Quotes: The One-Liners
Many of the greatest quotes from The Simpsons have come in the form of back and forth conversation. Equally as impressive, however, are the hilarious, stand-alone one-liners:
- Homer: If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it's not a fair.
- Dr. Nick: “Inflammable” means flammable? What a country.
- Marge: There's no shame in being a pariah.
- Moe the Bartender: Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.
- Milhouse: We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.
- Homer: I hope I didn’t brain my damage.
- Lenny: Ow, my eye! - I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!
- Kent Brockman: "What are you lookin' at?" -- The innocent words of a drunken child.
- Principal Skinner: Attention. - All honor roll students will be rewarded with a trip to an archaeological dig. Also, all detention students will be punished with a trip to an archaeological dig.
It is truly amazing how the comedy in The Simpsons has remained so fresh, pertinent and spot-on after all these years.
Best Simpson Quotes: The Conversations
The Simpsons has featured some truly memorable back and forth dialogue. Here are some of the real gems:
- Lisa: Dad, I think you're overreacting.
- Homer: I think you're under-reacting.
- Lisa: This session's over.
- Homer: This session's under.
- Lisa: Goodbye.
- Homer: Badbye.
- Mr. Burns: Smithers, do you think maybe my power plant killed those ducks?
- Smithers: There's no maybe about it, Sir.
- Mr. Burns: Excellent.
- Lisa: Mom, what's happening?
- Marge: I'm sorry, honey, but we're renting your room to a satellite network until your father can pay for the destruction of a priceless artifact… Boy, I never thought I'd have to say that again.
- Homer: Oh, I almost forgot. While I was at the court house, I had them change your name.
- Marge: To what?
- Homer: Chesty La Rue.
- Marge: Chesty La Rue?
- Homer: Just try it for two weeks. If you don't like it, you can be Busty St. Claire.
- Marge: I don't want to be Chesty La Rue or Busty St. Claire.
- Homer: Fine. Hooty McBoob it is.
- Marge: Goodnight, Homer.
- Homer: Goodnight, Hooty.
- Marge: Give me those.
Makes you want to go watch a couple hundred episodes, doesn’t it?
Best Simpsons Quotes: The Future Hilarity
You didn’t really expect there to be a list of future quotes, did you?
The future looks quite bright for The Simpsons, as they continue to not only pull in strong ratings, but every week they add to their legacy as arguably the greatest sitcom of all time.
One of the beautiful things about an animated series is that the characters never age. The kids will always be kids and the only deaths are the ones hilariously woven into a script.
Kind of makes you wish Matt Groening had drawn you, rather than your current reality, doesn’t it?
You need to check out this article on the best TV cartoon characters of all time.
Curtis Candy - I'm an ex-professional wrestler and stand-up comic, who, after suffering impressive amounts of cranial trauma (most of it from wrestling; ...
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